Archive for June, 2013
Tags: #money, #setbacks #Victory, love
This week, my week was talked about in both kingdoms. Recording breaking is good. Talley marks count. Sometimes I feel like I carry the weight of the world and even though I may think that, it’s just a fictional puffed up way to say, “I could use some help”. This week the world I live in never heard me say that, because the words never crossed my lips. But the kingdom I’m living towards, they heard my screams and every cry was met with retaliation from the enemy. Give up was my enemy’s battle cry. Doubt your cause was their air raid. The constant mumble was don’t take our word, just look at the giant waves all around you. You’re not even sure He can hear you from here…are you? Who could hear your baby cries when you’re choking on the storm your drowning in. Where’s your trumpet? The mumbles continued, people worth saving can herald their causes. You must not even have a cause, and if you think you do, you’re so far down on the list you don’t even have a rescue whistle. I heard all that in my spirit. Those untruths crossed my mind. Although they may have dragged me down, it was momentary and the truth that I’ve set my course on was the directional wind at my back.
The truth I know is I’ve been called to right an injustice, an injustice that matters. I’m called because I was born carrying the destiny to rewrite this history. Generations I will never meet, need me to hold on for dear lives. Great swimmers are never giving rescue whistles. Lifeguards save, they never herald for help. What I know is my Savior has made a way, because the cause I’m battling for is imperative. The truth is I’m more than baby cries drowning in my storm. I’m a formable opponent who has caused the enemy great stress this week. I met his financial rip tides with a distracted love for the people around me. And this is something I struggle with adequate words for, financial stress is distracting. As a single mother of three it’s possible to be completely overwhelmed by it. While there were times yes, I was distracted. But the things I was overwhelmed by were the brake marks on the road. Overwhelming love the big gigantic love that makes no sense. Mostly the Love that God has generously filled me with that sometimes came with specific direction, but there’s so much of it that it overflows into crazy things that normal love won’t touch. And when I press into it, and by press in, I mean put my thoughts towards it. Kinda like how a frustration get’s fed so it festers. Pressing is is a religious term that I think means you consciously put your thoughts to. You go after it with your mind. The goldmine I uncovered this week (and thats funny my biggest attacks were financial, because the revelation I uncovered was great nuggets of truth) and as I pressed in to Love. First the Love that my Father has given me and that revelation is another gigantic story. When I think about the ways he’s loved me, I get distracted by my brag stories on Him, they bring an automatic smile, because how could they not. It is a love story, just like in life when someone loves you and although your second hand reheated story may not cause the butterflies to your listeners, to you it does every time. Your heart stirs, your smile rises. That’s what my loves stories about my Father, my Savior, my Lord, thats the domino effect they start. Because His love it never stops there, well it never stops. Reminding my self of His great love springs a leak and then it bleeds onto the people I know that he’s specifically called me to love. As I follow through a well springs up and over flows my frustrations and where they usually rise up, they can’t swim, they drown. And it’s love that makes no earthly sense. Uncultivated love bubbles up. These aren’t champagne bubbles, oh no, these are, you put washing machine soap in the dishwasher bubbles. Overwhelming, will it ever stop love. What I noticed was that as I focused on it in the spiritual it followed up in reality. Believe it or not, all I can say is try it. Love conquers all. The greatest tactics the enemy came against me with, in the grand scheme of things weren’t even momentary setbacks. Great strives were made in the kingdom. Songs were written in celebration of the standards that were raised. It was a big deal. In the middle of it, it was a big deal. But on the other side it’s a different kinda big deal. Sometime’s the greatest thing we can do, in earthly terms looks like busy work. Reminding yourself of what He has done, is the greatest weapon against the enemy’s doubt casting. I believe that’s where engagement is made. If you resign your self to the doubt, the battle is over before it started. I firmly believe this is the first step to warring and changing history, If you don’t who will. No one else was created for your destiny.
The day I link it all back to, was Thanksgiving 2010, I was praying with my sister and I’ve heard people talk about the presence of God and at that moment there was no longer any question in my mind had I felt it. It changed everything, I looked for it every time I prayed, and like a selfish child that wasn’t enough. I began to look for the presence while I was waiting on my kids at cheerleading practice or at a basketball game. Where’s he at? Was at the root of every question I ask. Seek and you will find I thought. I didn’t want to miss a single chance. That’s how I fed my hunger with more hunger, total distraction. What’s the score of the game? I don’t know, have you seen God, have you felt the Spirit? Of course I never said it out loud, but it was the tip of my tongue, that fumbled all my legitimate answers. Why wasn’t anyone else consumed? It began to leak out of all my conversations…”I felt God say…I think the Spirit wants” I said it with such enthusiasm that people listened, I think my passion was so real they could borrow it, but only while I was there. It was weird, or maybe I was…but I’m not. What I am is loved, truly, madly, deeply loved by the creator of the universe and he calls me his daughter, he calls me his beloved. He speaks to me. He encourages me. He lifts me up. I would say He satisfies my soul, but He doesn’t, I’m just thirsty for more. Looking for Him, desperately seeking Him, everywhere you go, in everything you do, just because you gotta know more, that’s where it started for me, that’s where my ears began to perk up. It really is a friendship that takes time to develop, you learn His ways and you get to know His heart. You wanna be able to run through a drive thru and order for Him. A friend you talk to everyday. A family member that the whole reunions a bust if they don’t show up. Your missing part. That’s where He fills you in.