Posts Tagged ‘hope’

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We all have days like this, mine lasted all day long, I could list the reasons, but they’re the same as yours. I guess what makes it an epic fail is when everything’s a fail. Today was one of those exceptional days that absolutely nothing goes well. My grandmother used to say, “This has come to pass…but the one who’s with you will never leave you or forsake you.” Meaning whats happening will pass and fade away, but focus on the One who won’t. Those words were like a band aid and a kiss, the situation didn’t change but it recharged my hope, do you know what I mean? Toady I needed to hear that and two of the sweetest girls in the world reminded me, so the fact is you do reap what you sow. They’re proof of that! Even though it took me a little reflection time to see it. No matter what you plant weeds will come in, but not to worry. Just because they’re in your garden doesn’t mean you have to eat them!

When I have a day like today it’s easy to feel like I’m all alone, when bad things happen it’s easy to react like a toddler and assume the worst, my Father had abandoned me. But that’s not true! My anchor has to be tied to the truth.

“We rejoice in our suffering because we know this, suffering produces perseverance and perseverance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint!!!!”

That’s a promise, hope does not disappoint! This is part of what makes the gospel such good news!

I love it when I can see the Father in my day to day stuff, I love it when I can hear His whispers wraped up in all my thoughts, but when I can’t. On days like today, I remind myself of the truth of who my Father is. I delight myself in who He’s been to me, and He’s been amazing! Over and over again He has surprised me for no reason with the very desires of my heart. He delights in my excitement. He constantly reminds me I’m worth it. He restores my soul, again and again, He’s never forgotten me. He has never treated my feelings carelessly, He values my time and adores my effort. He’s the best thing I’ve got, so when the day fails, why would I blame it on the One who has never failed me, Today is a day my independence I will gladly discard a run to his arms, and hide my face from the day, because He’s a good Father that more than anything knows how to hold a daughter and mend a broken heart.

Have you ever had the Holy Spirit whisper something to you really loud. As I diligently pursued getting to know this teacher of the Trinity, I’m amazed by his gentleness, so its just like him to get a ferocious point across with the force of a whisper. So brief background, I had a relationship that was 99% frustrating, and I’ve been bringing this to the Father but what I realized through this learning experience was I was really treating my problems like a side dish at a pot luck, I was just sharing them and bringing them back home with me. What sorta faith is this. I was talking to a friend & every time she tried to give me advice it hit a nerve and the pain was all right at the surface, like a fresh wound that hadn’t healed at all. And let me interject this, the past couple of years I have been on my own journey to find out who God is to me and with every single discovery I’m completely desperate for more. I’m convinced my Father has given me authority I can’t even begin to imagine, yet I must begin to imagine. I am convinced the Creator of the universe, my Father, has more power than all my fears combined. Stories I’ve read and podcast I hear convince me that seeing the dead raised, the blind see and the deaf hear is more than a possibility its a commandment it’s a job description for the mighty calling on the life of every believer who dares. So these are the ground rules to what I consider the core beliefs of my secure faith, with God absolutely anything is possible. I think I believe that, but theres this relationship, a thorn in the flesh for sure, and on this day I’m in the familiar spot of hopeless & ready to jump off a sinking ship. I mean at some point thats just prudent, right? But see I know the words the Father has spoken over my life and I know the people they include and this relationship is involved, so anyways, I replay this conversation in my head as I engage the Teacher Holy Spirit & I begin to notice I have zero faith when it comes to this relationship, and the Holy Spirit reminds me that I believe God can do anything. I realize after tossing this back and forth I kinda don’t want God to fix this, almost in a humble way…like Ohh Father I got this, there’s plenty of other things that need your attention, and besides this it’s too broken, I should’ve realized that a long time ago and saved us both the trouble. And thats when the whisper comes….”but what about the fact that I make all things new?” I still hold my ground, but this would require more new than new car sent new, and that’s when I put my finger on it, deep down there was this murmur that said “No way, impossible, it can’t be done” I believe the Red Sea was parted, I believe the impossible stories I’ve heard about healings and miracles, but it boils down to idenity. God stepped in because more was at steak, was that it, was that where my faith hinged on the worthiness of me and my need. What kind’ve faith is that? Did I think God’s mercy and grace was for the multitudes but fell short when there was only an audience of 1. See when I actually say it, my heart argues with my head. I really didn’t know there was such a big part of me that was holding back, I thought I believed God could do anything, but now I knew there was part of me that wasn’t all in. This was an awakening, because when I break it down it easy the spot the lies, the crack in the foundation of your thoughts. The truth is God doesn’t need a publicity stunt, and just like I love each one of my children individually more than they could ever possibly imagine, He’s got me beat with his love for me. So if God is only as big as my faith is, no wonder my realtionship feels so hopeless, I wasn’t factoring him in to the solution at all. And this simple truth, this ferious whisper was a ground breaking revelation, that brought me in over my head in love with my Savior who’s waiting on me to invite him in. Waiting on me to line up my heart and head with the truth of who he is and the magnitude of how he loves me, he wants me to come boldly to him, but the bodly means I’m not holding back a bold request means, I’m asking for 100% backing and I know without you it’s impossible, but you make all things new. You know sometimes I thnk the Father wants to know what we want, what is it you want? Now do you believe he has time for you? Because his word says he does. Do you believe this is a problem you can fix, are you still weeding out possible solutions, because I was. I thnk the Father wants you to leave your “do it yourself, for dummies” book at home and come to him with complete abandonment, like a child, just like a child would, beacuse thats how the Father gets involved with an audience of 1 that comes to him just like child…and that changes everything…

When I don’t return sarcasm for sarcasm, that’s because You were guarding my heart, when I give You my heart, You guard it for out of my heart flows all of life, so in the midst of a storm you covered me with your wings, you gathered me in and protected my utmost with your highest. And in the aftermath you restored my soul. I trust you with anything because you already protected it with your everything. You’re mercies are new everyday, it’s impossible to get to the bottom of your love, so dive in deep, head first, give it a try, you got nothing to loose, but everything to gain.

How does revival begin? People have been asking this question for ages…

Does it require the Holy Spirit? Yes, I think so, that seems to be the main ingredient, waves & wave of Holy Spirit, falling fresh.

So if the Holy Spirit is the key, but we’re not sure how it begins, I say you start with what you know. First of all we know not to grieve the Holy Spirit. How exactly do you grieve the Holy Spirit? Well this is the way I consider it, you’ve got to be a good host. I’ve spent a long time considering this and exactly what that means. For so long I was really guilty of taking the Holy Spirit for granted, as if the whole relationship was a weight the Holy Spirit carried. I almost considered him like a seat belt, it came with the car, I use them when conditions are bad, when I’m driving at night, but I’ve never experience the depth of my seatbelts importance, I’ve never flipped the car & was holding on to life by my seat belt, so I treated it casually & sometimes I even argue that the seat belt could be more dangerous, I mean what if it traps me. I’m using this as a parrell more than a legitimate arguement, but the point is how do you get to the depths of the relationship with out a valley. And this thought led me back to hosting. How many times have you been to a resturant that you left saying you’d never go back, what made you feel that way? Did you feel like you were unimportant? Did your server make you feel like their other tables were more important than you? Did you feel like maybe they just didn’t sense your needs, did they leave you thirsty? Maybe they never checked back to see how you were doing, or you had to wave them down to get their attention. How do you host the Holy Spirit? Do you consider his needs? I heard Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, CA say to treat the Holy Spirit like an actual dove on your shoulder. How would that change the way you walk, even down the stairs, well you would carefully consider each step aware of the dove. I think thats half of it, you cannot host the Holy Spirit without carefully considering him like a dove on your shoulder, but the second half is that this Holy Spirit you are carefully considering is POWERFULL!!!! He is loving, he is a teacher, but that gentle dove has dunamus power, that is looking for a partner to bring the kingdom to earth with, but power without understanding is dangerous, so host this powerfull presence, get to know the dove. Sense his needs, get to know his desires, he’s a great tipper so beg to wait on him.

A bold decree attracts the hand of the hand of The Lord,
Well I’ve made some bold decrees & I couldn’t feel further away, I realize feelings are emotions and are not facts, but they feel real, and I feel real alone. I hate this feeling, I hate living this way & it’s always been this way, it’s like asking God to change a rock into a butterfly, maybe there are just some things that aren’t worth changing, maybe there are somethings that just can’t change because they don’t want to change. I don’t wanna give up, but only b/c I don’t know what else I’d do, there’s no hope in that, but there’s no hope in any of it, this is the definition of nonexistent hope. I don’t know the string you pull, I think it’s thread bare.

Less than 5 ,000 days how will they be lived, how will they be celebrated…will they be celebrated. Everyday counts even when the very thing you’re holding onto bites you keep holding and regrip, if what you holding bites you then you’re not holding it the right way. The same goes for crabs if it pinches you, you’re not holding it the right way, and I guess crabby people.